I put the bikini on. The one I bought a few years ago (pre-baby), full price from Victoria Secret. I stared at myself in the mirror and grimaced. A bloated belly, stretched out from 40 weeks and two days of a human growing inside and pushing it in all directions. A belly button still pushed out. Red and white stripes marking the places where my skin had stretched to maximum capacity. I sigh in disappointment. I think: Maybe it’s time to put this sexy thing away and get a sensible mom bathing suit. You know, a one-piece. Probably some shade of blue so I can blend in with the water.
“You look beautiful,” my husband says. I’m not sure if he means it or if he is just reacting to my face. The face he says that always reveals what I’m thinking. And I’m thinking I’m ugly.
“You thinking of wearing it?”
“Oh, never. Look at me.”
“I am.” He smiled, suggestively.
I giggle but I’m still hiding my stomach with my hands.
I think maybe Id like to feel sexy again. I’d like to believe my husband when he says that I am beautiful. We have this trip planned to a water park place and I think I’m going to really try and feel my best. I really want to try and get myself back in bathing suit shape… for me. Obviously I’m never going to look like some VS model… or even like I did before my baby… but I just want to feel confident enough to wear the bikini.
I’ll let you know how it goes! 🙂
My work-out plan: